Two friends hugging each other to convey comfort and safety around each other.
Photo by Tani Eisenstein on Unsplash

At times, talking to someone you consider your safe person is much more helpful than reflecting by yourself. You may belong to certain circles of different settings (your work friends/acquaintances, childhood friends, college friends, high school friends, etc.). But within these big groups, you have that small select people whom you establish more intimate connections with. You’re sharing chunks of yourself with others, so you might as well share them with the right and worthy people. After all, safety is one of the basic needs stated by Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs.

We tend to have questions in mind that can be solved through experience or knowing other people’s take on them. Whether it be asking for relationship advice or for venting, it’s usually in these situations that our safe person ground us to reality. They can also help to show us perspectives that we can’t come up by ourselves.

What about those who are in our circle but hurt us?

It seems impossible to entirely avoid unfortunate events (e.g. someone breaking your trust, spreading of rumors, etc.). But you should always keep in mind that regardless of your history with them, those occurrences are unhealthy. They interrupt your practice of self-love, and they amplify noise that ruin your inner peace. Although these unfortunate events may mold you into a stronger and wiser person, knowing who your safe person is can guide you in navigating your heartaches. So how do you know that a person can be your safe person?

I made an infographic of what a “safe person” does, so check it out below!

An infographic listing the characteristics of a "safe person"
1. They willingly listen.
2. They try to understand you and the influencing factors around you.
3. They acknowledge your reality.
4. They let you express yourself the way you want to.
5. They respect confidentiality.

Final Thoughts

Your safe person encourages your expression and growth because your safety (physical and emotional) is one of the most essential and basic needs. To have this need met is to give you a boost into the fulfillment of your psychological needs. Your safe person offers a good sense of support that enhances how you view yourself and your situation without being controlling and intrusive. But, as much as you care about yourself, it’s also important that you reflect on this question: Are you a safe person to others?

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